Thursday, August 13, 2009

Taking It One Day at a Time

Spontaneous subarachnoid hemorrhage...syllables I've sifted over and over in my mind these past two months. The first part of June my husband, Dennis, was careflighted to Miami Valley Hospital and diagnosed with this lifethreatening malady! The doctor there, prepared me for the worst. The sober expression on his face, while warning me that Dennis was going to get a lot worse, made things seem surreal. Was this really happening? I could hear my husband moaning loudly from his room, while I stood with the doctor trying to comprehend what had just happened...a massive brain hemorrhage. I remember crying in my son's arms and saying, " How am I going to do this without Dennis, how am I going to do that without Dennis?" My son just quietly answered, "Mom, we'll be alright. God's got everything under control." Spontaneous subarachnoid hemorrhage; what's God got to do with it? Everything! Job 1:21 teaches us that, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away." This brings home the fact that God is Sovereign! He calls the shots! Otherwise, He is not God! When I don't understand why He has caused this, Isaiah 55:9 reminds me, "My ways are higher than your ways, My thoughts are higher than your thoughts." Faith is believing without seeing. I could not see what God was doing in the midst of this situation. But as a believer I could trust wholly in Romans 8:28, "All things work together for good, to them that love the Lord, to those who are called according to His purpose." Ah...His purpose! I determined to submit myself to whatever He had purposed for Dennis' life and my life. I only asked Him for the grace and strength to praise Him in all things and to look for the good in the midst of the bad. The days passed. We waited. By day four, we were supposed to see mental deterioration. It did not come. We were watching for physical disability. It did not come. I found myself taking each day as it came, not worrying about the next, just living with each day as it came. And as each day came and went, along with the rollercoaster of events accompanying, I was at peace with whatever God decided. As it turned out, the doctors were not able to find the aneurysm. Several CT/ Angiograms did not reveal the source of the break. They only showed that the break had closed by itself and the bleeding had stopped. And the hemorrhage was receding. The doctor said only eight other people at MVH had recovered from this type of hemorrhage without surgery or recurrence. Today, Dennis is active, feels very good, and we are very thankful! I have learned to put Matthew 6:34 to use! "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself."I think most of us expect the future to hold benefits. We expect our futures to be bright. But James 4:15 reminds us to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that". The future....what's God got to do with it? Everything!